A cure for Tuesday afternoon doldrums.

I actually saw this episode of Saved By the Bell (SBTB) this morning. It's the famous Jessie Spano caffeine pill freakout, which I will post now.

I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so... scared?!

Time for a little spring cleaning.

On a whim I decided to drop my old blog design (I'm sure some of you are thinking it's about time) and start a new one. In addition to this redesign, I have also changed my post titles. They will no longer be structured "I'm the kind of girl who... (fill in the blank)." It worked for a while, but now I just feel constricted. I'm spring cleaning my blog everyone!

How do you like it?

is gardening, sewing, and planning...

I've been working on some projects lately and I keep saying that I'll post them on my blog. So here they finally are! I don't have much to say otherwise except for a short update:

I am plodding along at work. I've only got two months left. It's not too bad lately, just a little boring. Seminary is fine. I won't miss waking up at 6:00am, but I will miss the kids come June. My missionary has about seven months left on his mission too! It's amazing. I can't believe there's so little time left. I'm putting together a little birthday present for him, which I'll send off in a week or so. I'm also working on his homecoming quilt. Keep that on the DL, though, it's a surprise. :) 

Let's take a peek at some of the projects I've been working on:

The garden

A couple weeks ago my dad and I ripped our old deck apart and turned it into five planter boxes. I like how rustic they look. Plus, that's super sustainable, right? Anyhow, this is a view of some romaine lettuce starts. We didn't plant much from seed this year. It's just been so cold. And we were a little lazy about it. You can also see the herb garden in the back corner and some tomatoes next to them in the box on the left. I hope the sun comes out soon...

Phillip's birthday present

This is the front.

This is the back. Look in the corner... aww. I know, cheesy. I can't help myself.

It's a mini quilt since I can't send him a full size one. My brother says it looks like a pot holder. Hmm... Well, at least he'll think of me when he gets his cookies out of the oven.

I also found this great tie at Nordstrom's Rack. I think it has just the right amount of interest, but it's not too flashy for a missionary. I hope it puts a spring in his step when he wears it.

Phillip's quilt

I finally got the top pieced about a month ago! It's been a slow process, but I expected it to take a while because this is my first "serious" quilt. I think I will be done quilting it by the end of summer. I'm going to hand quilt the entire top because I don't want it to look too commercial. I want it to have that nice homemade folksy look.

Here's a view from the corner. I named this quilt "Roots and Wings" because the houses are the roots and the corner pieces (called "flying geese") are the wings.

Here's a little preview of what the quilting is going to look like. I just started quilting it together last night and for now I'm stitching around every other circle in the pattern around the border. On the burgundy patches I'll quilt a little celtic knot design, I think. My hand is already killing me! But it's worth it.

That's what I've been up to my dear friends. Oh, and I miss you too. 

can't help but smile.

In my last post I was basically whining about why I strongly dislike certain aspects (cough...my boss...cough) of my job. When I wrote that post I was on the verge of putting in my resignation. Well, you know what they say, you get what you wish for. Instead of having to quit, I am being laid off in three months. My program did not recieve the funding it needed to continue, so the grant money runs out at the end of June. When I heard this information last Friday, I tried not to sound too excited when I told my coworkers. They have been telling me how sorry they feel for me ever since. But I can't stop smiling. :D

Life is looking up. I only have three months left at my job (and hopefully I'll find another by then). I have also been quilting like mad. It is probably my #1 free time activity at the moment. I am going to the fabric store tonight to get the batting I need for my quilt. I finished the top last Saturday and I got my backing fabric in the mail on Wednesday. It's almost ready to go! I promise to post a picture of the top soon. I did take the pictures, now I just need to put them up.

I feel positive about this new development, even though it means I might be out of a job in three months. There's always unemployment. Not that I aspire to it. Although it would mean more time for quilting...

is against all odds.

Today I hit a brick wall. I found myself loathing work, for the 100th time, as I drove in and as soon as I got to work, everything seemed directed against me. Even when I met with my boss, which was pretty light-duty compared to past meetings, I realized that I felt defiant about everything that she was saying. Then, at lunch time, I called my mom to say that I hate my job and if I could I would quit TODAY. What is so wrong with my job? Well, I made a list:

1. I get stressed out when my boss is watching me too closely
2. I have to deal with difficult people on the phone sometimes, in Russian, no less
3. Sometimes there is not enough work to do and I am bored
4. I don't get much positive reinforcement for what I am doing right, what I hear is about 95% critique
5. My job feels thankless
6. I am asked to do less outreach to schools, which is the part of my job I enjoy the most
7. I dislike having to redo work that doesn't matter to anyone but my boss
8. My grant runs out in June and I will either have to find a new job or cope with reduced hours

On the other hand, there are more than twice as many reasons why I like my job:

1. I get to speak Russian daily
2. It's good pay
3. It's full-time
4. It's not far from my home
5. I get to work with youth
6. I get to help people
7. I see progress with these youth
8. I have nice coworkers
9. I have a pleasant workspace (with a window!)
10. I have some freedom to be a little creative with my job
11. I have vacation days and sick days
12. I have a 1 hour lunch
13. I like to go walking in the pleasant surrounding neighborhoods here during lunch
14. I get to talk to people all day
15. I get to write
16. I get to make home visits
17. I get to organize special events

After writing that list I realized that I'm being a little less grateful than I should be. I have a good job, even though I feel stressed out at times. The core of what I do is enjoyable and I believe in it, which is important to me. Even though I feel boxed in at times with my bosses' requests, I realize that I have enough space to do what I need to do.

Social work can expose the ugly underside of a community. I see this daily and it does weigh on me. I had two volunteers send me emails today about wanting to quit their mentorships because they are too difficult. The problems these kids face are complex and their mentors are not trained to deal with them. I am not trained to deal with them either. It is sad when I need to let one of these youth go because their needs are too great. But despite the unpleasantness that can stretch across the days, there are moments that cause me to see the beauty of what I do. It's like a flower growing throught the sidewalk. Then I realized, I need to be more like that persevering flower, growing in a less-than-ideal situation, against all odds.

smells like honey and lemon. And has a fabric addiction.

Upon getting my tax return I thought I might spend a bit and help out the economy. At least that's what I'm telling myself. Well, here are two things that brightened up my weekend:

1. Getting 35% off of this fabric. I can't wait to start my next quilting project!

2. Finding this fragrance. Wow. It is exactly what I need this spring.

can't help herself.

So, every girl is supposed to have her entire wedding thoroughly planned out in her mind by marrying age. I should by now, but I don't. I am trying not to jinx myself. However, I did take a peek at some rings. I know. I should be slapped. Well, if I were to get a ring in the next year or so, this is the kind of ring I might want. It looks kind of vintage. I like the fact that it doesn't have a giant solitaire sticking out because I could see myself getting it hooked on all kinds of things. I'd probably hurt myself. I also like the little twinkly side stones. For now, I'll just keep dreaming...

feels spring coming.

Spring is about possibilities and this poem, to me, says "possibilities" even in the title. Enjoy this beautiful time of year, the end of dreary, dark days, and the beginning of more light, more warmth, and more color.

From Blossoms

From blossoms comes
this brown paper bag of peaches
we bought from the boy
at the bend in the road where we turned toward
signs painted Peaches.

From laden boughs, from hands,
from sweet fellowship in the bins,
comes nectar at the roadside, succulent
peaches we devour, dusty skin and all,
comes the familiar dust of summer, dust we eat.

O, to take what we love inside,
to carry within us an orchard, to eat
not only the skin, but the shade,
not only the sugar, but the days, to hold
the fruit in our hands, adore it, then bite into
the round jubilance of peach.

There are days we live
as if death were nowhere
in the background; from joy
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,
from blossom to blossom to
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.

-Li-Young Lee

is hungry again.

I only ate lunch an hour and a half ago and I'm already hungry again, so I made myself a visual snack of all the things I could go for right now...


1. one grilled cheese, please, 2. Sushi Party!, 3. Hungry?, 4. Roast Turkey, 5. Pie-opener1.jpg, 6. http://www.flickr.com/photos/yusheng/479637484/, 7. red fruits cupcake 1, 8. Mango, 9. blackberries, 10. twinkie, 11. i ♥ homemade chocolate pudding., 12. Fried Egg On Toast, 13. Oreo Dunkin13, 14. Cheetos Puffs, 15. IKEA Meatball, 16. Chicken Nuggets

feels just a little safer.

For all who are wondering why I made my blog private, it's not meant to be exclusive by any means. I would love to have as many people read my blog as possible, but recently I've felt a little too "researched." Because my name is on the internet for my job, there are clients who search my name and subsequently read my blog as well. I don't know how I feel about that. So, for now, I am going to keep my blog private. If you know anyone that might like to be added as a reader, don't hesitate to let me know! I hope I haven't left anyone in the cold. 

Thank you dear friends for being so loyal. This is all between you and I now. Doesn't that make you feel better too?

doesn't want a doughnut anymore.

Happy Fat Tuesday everyone! In honor of this day of excess, I found a video of Paula Deen making a hamburger with doughnuts for the bun. Watch and revel in the disgustingness without the greasy aftertaste.