knows what she wants.

Crud. I had this really excellent post all ready and then firefox froze! Grr... I think I have a virus. Anyway, I was just getting ready to rant about who my perfect man would be (a cross between Antonio Banderas and Alexander Pushkin) and then it gets deleted. You know what? I think it's a sign. There isn't a perfect man. I'm just a sentimental junkie and I'm sure that some men are getting a little annoyed with my expectations. I still want a gentleman, but it isn't so much in looks, it's in his actions. He doesn't have to wear a suit or take me ballroom dancing, he doesn't even have to bring me roses (I think that's tacky anyway, roses are such default flowers when guys don't know what to get). I don't think it's too bold to ask for someone who actually takes time for me, though. That is so important. Just someone who wants to spend time with me and who has the courage to show me that he likes me. I have put my neck on the line repeatedly and it hasn't been the most enjoyable experience every time, but it has been beneficial. I feel stronger now. I don't need someone, but I want to care about someone. I think Pushkin said it best:

I loved you once: perhaps that love has yet
To die down thoroughly within my soul;
But let it not dismay you any longer;
I have no wish to cause you any sorrow.
I loved you wordlessly, without a hope,
By shyness tortured, or by jealousy.
I loved you with such tenderness and candor
And pray God grants you to be loved that way again.

It's not that I am tortured by any love that was lost or never happened. I just love Pushkin's attitude about the whole situation. When you truly care about someone you wish the best for them even if it doesn't mean that they will be with you. Eventually there will be someone. 99% of the time you have to move on and that's okay. I guess my point with this is it seems like there are too many guys who are afraid of losing. I don't know if it's apathy or fear. I just see a lack of chivalry. I don't know what happened to men. While women are becoming increasingly independent and bold, men are shrinking. What can women do? Maybe the problem is we are always thinking about this question and we are facilitating men too much. They need to take risks too. Pushkin took risks and he married the girl of his dreams. Maybe this isn't the best example because he died in a duel because of her, but I think this shows that he was willing to act. Men, we don't want you to die in duels for us, just open the car door once in a while and call us for no apparent reason, except to talk.

stays up until 3:00 am.

Last night I stayed up until 3:00 talking to one of my best friends in the world. When she dozed off, I started writing an article for Insight magazine. Which I should be writing as I am posting this, by the way. It's about the joy of dancing and I just wanted to share some quotes that I found for the article. Enjoy:

Dance is for everybody. I believe that the dance came from the people and that it should always be delivered back to the people.

Alvin Ailey

What is dance? I am dancing all the time. Every gesture, the body line of every pose, the way I get from place to place, the movement in the acting-none of it would be the way it is if I weren't a dancer.

Ray Bolger

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.

Wayne Dyer

Think of the magic of that foot, comparatively small, upon which your whole weight rests. It's a miracle, and the dance is a celebration of that miracle.

Martha Graham

We learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. One becomes in some area an athlete of God.

Martha Graham

Dance is the hidden language of the soul.

Martha Graham

Every dance is a kind of fever chart, a graph of the heart.

Martha Graham

We look at the dance to impart the sensation of living in an affirmation of life, to energize the spectator into keener awareness of the vigor, the mystery, the humor, the variety, and the wonder of life. This is the function of the American dance.

Martha Graham

When people start dancing, they dance like they don't know they are doing it.

Nusrat F. A. Khan

To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking.

Agnes de Mille