wants to be happy.

When I found this picture a while ago I thought it was the perfect metaphor for life. The boy is crying because his tricycle isn't working the way he wants it to--he wants a smoother ride. Well, sorry. Life is never a completely smooth ride. We can choose to progress, although it is a bumpy road that frustrates or even hurts us at times, or we can choose to sit still with no bumps, all the while missing out on the journey. I know that there is a time for everyone when they feel like they've been given an unfair lot in life. I've felt this way so many times I can hardly isolate specific incidents; I've been saying "that's not fair!" ever since I could recognize the difference between the larger cupcake and the smaller cupcake. And my mom would always respond "fair is a place you go for a ride." That is, life isn't fair and if you expect it to be, you are going to be disappointed. I have been disappointed so many times in my life. But there is a happy side to the unhappy realization that life is not fair, I choose if I am going to constantly take note of life's inconsistencies and feel angry about injustice or I can act for myself and be happy with the life I've been given. At least I have a tricycle, right? How about the poor kid down the street with one rollerskate. That's gotta suck. I don't want to go too far with this metaphor, it would cheapen it, but I do want to point out that we are not in a race with each other for fairness or happiness or success. That's just not it. I feel like I post about these kinds of things all the time, but I like to remind myself that

I CAN ONLY CONTROL MYSELF!

I want everyone to recognize that. I wish I could communicate that idea to everyone who struggles with the question of why they aren't happy. I fully believe that happiness is a choice in life (when not complicated by factors like depression, as I have mentioned before) that comes when we take control of our choices and make ourselves responsible for them. I know that doesn't seem like the equation for happiness, but somehow it is.

DISCLAIMER:

I know that I am only happy when I am acting for myself...according to the Lord's will. I should have made this clearer before (and I might get some flack for it, but I'm going to say it anyway because this is my blog and this is how I feel): taking control of our actions doesn't mean anything unless our choices are made according to the Lord's plan for us.

Alma explains this concept in the most clear way I can think of:

"I ought not to harrow up in my desires, the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction.

Yea, and I know that good and evil have come before all men; he that knoweth not good from evil is blameless; but he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of conscience.

Now, seeing that I know these things, why should I desire more than to perform the work to which I have been called?" Alma 29:4-6

The Lord knows perfectly how to make me happy. When I am grasping for answers and feeling that life is unfair, I only need to turn to him for alleviation of my pain, and sometimes I get an explanation. I usually don't understand why life is the way it is, but I am happy to be led by the hand by someone who loves me more than anyone else and who has planned an existence filled with more happiness than I could ever imagine. I ache for all people to feel peace and to know that they will someday have a fullness of joy. Happiness might seem inconsistent in our lives because of our weaknesses in this earthly state and our mistakes, but it can underlie everything we do if we have made the choice to seek after it. We can live in a way that will lead us towards greater joy:

"And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness." 2 Nephi 5:27

Nephi also recognized that it is a choice. He didn't say, "and it came to pass that we lived and just by chance we were happy too." He said that they lived in a way that made them happy. Happiness begins when we accept the circumstances we've been given, but it is increased by every good choice we make and solidified by our trust in the Lord's plan for us.