thirsts.

This World, Not the Next

True, God dreamed our first parents out
of a chaos of firmament and longing.
And true, he pled with them to return
to a savory Forever of his making.
But it was this world, with its tides and machinery
of sweet decay, they learned to love.

He touched their hair, then covered their sleeping
mouths with His and declared breath
holy, but forced them to draw another
and another. He commanded that they eat
not of that dazzling tree of awe and penumbra,
but knew its fruit would eat at them.

And when it did, and when they fell
into knowing. God folded the garden and hid it
deep inside the woman, but commanded
the man to tend it. And in due season the man
Eved, and the woman Adamed back
and the song of radiance they keened was pure

darkness by morning. And God blessed
Their bounty to be infinite, but left them
ten crooked fingers to count with.
And buried His echo inside their bodies,
a delicious lapping that answered yes and yes

to a question neither could recall.

Lance Larsen

I love this poem about the nature of our sojourn here on earth and our roles as man and woman. I have been pondering these ideas a lot recently. I wonder about my fragile, imperfect nature and I hope that I can be who I am supposed to be. The few things that I know about my purpose here tell me firstly, that God is my father. I know I am his daughter. I also know that we are all his children and he wishes to bless us in whatever ways we will let him. He wants us to be like him. That is a difficult task. The hardest task we are ever given, in fact. Yet, even while faced with this most difficult task, I feel peace because I know he wants me to succeed.

I also want to talk about my identity as a woman. I am grateful to be one. I feel both blessed and persecuted in this role. I want to be a wife and mother someday. I see those responsibilities providing some of the greatest joy I will experience in this life, along with the greatest pain, I'm sure. It is always that way. I have experienced and seen some of the difficulties that result from relationships, but I've also felt bliss. I know that many people I love struggle with situations that complicate this aspect of their lives. My hope is that someday we will all feel truly loved and be reconciled to what we have been given in this second estate, which can often seen unfair.

Concerning our respective roles as man and woman, I know it is an eternal truth that we need each other to become perfect, like our Father, and experience a fullness of happiness. A portion of a blessing given to me says, "that union [marriage] will be the beginning of an eternal unit that we call a family, and that is where you will become perfect." I believe this: that men and women need each other to progress to perfection, even though many things complicate this union while on earth.

My missionary recently sent me a page of his scripture study notes and I would like to include excerpts of his insights as well, because I feel like his perspective adds something to my pool of ideas. Firstly, he speaks of attractions that do no coincide with the Lord's plan, that while they are "desirable, [they] do not last. They are a symbol, a placeholder. But they are not the true thing." He uses a metaphor to describe the "thirst" that many have for affection, which can draw them to empty sources: "it is a mirage-an image that promises to satiate, but in fact is just an empty promise. Lacking "water" as it were, we must realize that it will leave us thirsting." Then he speaks of man's counterpart, "the woman is the true opposite. Not only is it the order God prescribed, but a woman carries within her the river suited to man's thirst. And vice-versa...both are nourished..."

The truth is that we are all born with thirsts that lead us astray, yet they are the very same that can lead us to God, if we recognize where to go for help. Regarding relationships, our various thirsts can cause us "to wander all our lives searching for satisfaction, unless we learn to truly see-to see through the mirage and know it for what it is. Only then can we give up our search for a mirage...then we can dig deep into the earth where we stand and find a hidden reservoir of our own, and when refreshed we can look around for the traveler who seeks the water we can give."


His wise comments about relationships remind me of the statement that Christ makes,
"But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life" (John 4:14). Christ is the source of living water, truth that sustains us throughout our lives and leads us back to him. He tells us that we can have a supply of this water inside ourselves to share with others as well. Relationships that are founded on truth hold living water, they lead us to God and perfection; they bring us joy and satisfaction. Yes, we are all imperfect people who will make mistakes and who will sin, but I have hope in the model that God has provided for me. I believe that if I am faithful I will be able to be perfect one day with my spouse and be with him and with God forever. It is very hard to imagine right now. It all sounds oversimplified and can even be discouraging, but since God gave me the charge to "be perfect," I know he will also help me on my path.

There is so much that can be said about this topic. Our roles as men and women are so complicated in so many ways. I wish that things could be simpler. I wish that we could each find someone to spend our mortal lives with and then eternity, progressing together in harmony. I wish that nobody ever had to feel lonely. The truths that I know are simple and overwhelming at the same time, but I feel peace in my heart. I am a daughter of God. If I am faithful, I will not wander, thirsting after things that will lead me astray.