Crud. I had this really excellent post all ready and then firefox froze! Grr... I think I have a virus. Anyway, I was just getting ready to rant about who my perfect man would be (a cross between Antonio Banderas and Alexander Pushkin) and then it gets deleted. You know what? I think it's a sign. There isn't a perfect man. I'm just a sentimental junkie and I'm sure that some men are getting a little annoyed with my expectations. I still want a gentleman, but it isn't so much in looks, it's in his actions. He doesn't have to wear a suit or take me ballroom dancing, he doesn't even have to bring me roses (I think that's tacky anyway, roses are such default flowers when guys don't know what to get). I don't think it's too bold to ask for someone who actually takes time for me, though. That is so important. Just someone who wants to spend time with me and who has the courage to show me that he likes me. I have put my neck on the line repeatedly and it hasn't been the most enjoyable experience every time, but it has been beneficial. I feel stronger now. I don't need someone, but I want to care about someone. I think Pushkin said it best:
I loved you once: perhaps that love has yet
To die down thoroughly within my soul;
But let it not dismay you any longer;
I have no wish to cause you any sorrow.
I loved you wordlessly, without a hope,
By shyness tortured, or by jealousy.
I loved you with such tenderness and candor
And pray God grants you to be loved that way again.
It's not that I am tortured by any love that was lost or never happened. I just love Pushkin's attitude about the whole situation. When you truly care about someone you wish the best for them even if it doesn't mean that they will be with you. Eventually there will be someone. 99% of the time you have to move on and that's okay. I guess my point with this is it seems like there are too many guys who are afraid of losing. I don't know if it's apathy or fear. I just see a lack of chivalry. I don't know what happened to men. While women are becoming increasingly independent and bold, men are shrinking. What can women do? Maybe the problem is we are always thinking about this question and we are facilitating men too much. They need to take risks too. Pushkin took risks and he married the girl of his dreams. Maybe this isn't the best example because he died in a duel because of her, but I think this shows that he was willing to act. Men, we don't want you to die in duels for us, just open the car door once in a while and call us for no apparent reason, except to talk.
2 comments:
Nicole,
I love that quote, especially since I have felt that way about the girl of my dreams before. She chose to go another way, and that's what I wanted for her too, because I knew it would make her happy.
I'm sorry that you are frustrated with men forgetting their chivalry. But if hard pressed, I think you would admit that it's not really a question of men in general, is it? It's a question of YOUR man, or at least the one or two or three who you wish would be chivalrous but aren't. I know plenty of chivalrous men who treat, talk about, and regard their women in the highest regard. But although their women may or may not recognize it, they can't really be satisfied with that alone. There must be chemistry, and chemistry can happen with or without chivalry.
So the trick, I guess, is to get both: that guy who takes risks but can still make your heart beat fast, because those two things aren't always the same thing.
oops I spelled your name wrong.
Allow me to correct myself:
NicHole.
Done correcting.
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