The smell of a school bus is the same as I remember from the last year I rode, which was probably in 1998. School buses used to terrify me in grade school. Not the actual ride, but the part when I had to get off the bus. The anxiety would grip me as my stop came closer. When I got off the bus my main goal was to get home as quickly as I could, avoiding any white, molester-type vans at all costs. I'd forgotten that my neighbors had a white van and one day it turned the corner as I got off the bus. My heart nearly beat out of my chest. I HAD TO GET HOME NOW! My legs went faster than my brain could process and I ended up tripping and falling flat onto my stomach, knocking the wind out of myself. When the van pulled into the driveway behind me I felt pretty sheepish. It still took me years to walk home instead of run.
In Jr. High there was a supremely awkward dance one day and on the way home I sat in the back of the bus, recounting the details with my friend Shawna about how this girl, Dana, couldn't keep her hands off of her boyfriend the whole time. That slut! Just as we were giggling together, Dana leaned her huge, blond, curly head over the seat and looked down on me. I couldn't believe it. She'd heard it all. She said nothing as I launched into a rambling cover-up that no one would believe about how she and her boyfriend were the cutest couple I'd ever seen. She seemed less than satisfied and I turned back around and shut up.
Now I'm a bus driver.
It's been a unique set of circumstances that have led me to this point in my life, but I can say that I'm not unsatisfied. I used to think that a bus driver was about the lowest a person could get, but I was wrong. It is a challenging job that allows me to have positive interaction with young people every day. It's a rare moment that I have to get on the intercom and tell them I'm going to pull the bus over. A smile and a kind word to my students goes a long way. I love the interesting questions I get from students on the way to and from school. I am fascinated by my special needs students and the way they deal with their challenges. I am still perplexed by the way junior high students behave on the bus, but that will probably never change.
I am happy to say that I'm grateful for this time in my life. I never imagined that I would be here, doing what I am doing, but it's good for me. The lessons I am learning in courage, empathy, patience, humor, and many other things related to human behavior have already been very valuable.
It's been a unique set of circumstances that have led me to this point in my life, but I can say that I'm not unsatisfied. I used to think that a bus driver was about the lowest a person could get, but I was wrong. It is a challenging job that allows me to have positive interaction with young people every day. It's a rare moment that I have to get on the intercom and tell them I'm going to pull the bus over. A smile and a kind word to my students goes a long way. I love the interesting questions I get from students on the way to and from school. I am fascinated by my special needs students and the way they deal with their challenges. I am still perplexed by the way junior high students behave on the bus, but that will probably never change.
I am happy to say that I'm grateful for this time in my life. I never imagined that I would be here, doing what I am doing, but it's good for me. The lessons I am learning in courage, empathy, patience, humor, and many other things related to human behavior have already been very valuable.
A scripture comes to my mind when I ponder my life right now. It is one of my favorites and keeps me grounded. In Doctrine and Covenants 123: 16-17 Joseph Smith gives a metaphor for how we can live with greater faith and hope. Although I am not disappointed with my life, I do need to constantly remind myself that I am doing all that I can to make my life good. Being a bus driver is not glamorous, but it is good. I can be a positive influence in the lives of those youth that I interact with every day. I can do the little things that will inevitably change the direction of my life and make it what the Lord wants it to be.
"You know, brethren, that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves. Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."
This may seem incongruous with the ending thought of this post, but I wanted to end with a song. Just picture me behind the wheel, bobbing my head to the White Stripes. :)
1 comment:
My dad used to be a bus driver. When I was very small, we had a little medal hanging from the rearview mirror of the truck, commending him for his years of bus-driving service without an accident.
I wish you good luck and fulfillment in your bus-driving!
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